I volunteer quite a bit at my children’s elementary school, and I’m concerned about the amount of bullying I see on a daily basis. The majority of it is not physical fighting, but I know it damages the emotional well-being of the children who are the target of this behavior. With the new school year ahead of us, I want to approach the school administration about this. Can you give me some factual information so I can not only discuss the problem, but also offer positive solutions?

You are to be applauded for taking a stand on this issue. Bullying is a problem that creates a climate of fear that affects the entire school. When we fail to recognize and stop bullying behavior, we actually promote violence. We are saying to the bully, “You have the right to hurt people,” and to the victim, “You are not worth protecting.”

Safe schools are everyone’s responsibility and everyone has a role to play. Bullying involves repeated acts of physical, emotional or social behavior that are intentional, controlling and hurtful. It is a learned behavior, and can be either direct (physical aggression) or indirect (name-calling, spreading rumors). Direct bullying is usually more obvious; indirect bullying can be more difficult to identify, is usually more difficult to remedy, and should be seen as different from direct bullying.

Boys are more typically engaged in direct bullying and girls in indirect bullying, but that is not always the case. It’s important for parents and school officials to know that bullying interferes with learning and may lead to increased absenteeism and dropout rates. Bullying children may become bullying adults and are more likely to become child and spouse abusers. The longer the behavior lasts, the harder it is to change. Children who are the victims of bullying grow socially insecure and anxious with decreased self-esteem and increased depression rates, even into adulthood. A child being bullied often withdraws socially, has few friends and often feels isolated, sad and rejected. The child may report physical complaints (stomachache, etc.) that seem to have no immediate indicator, and which may provide a means to stay home for the day. In severe situations, a child who feels he/she has no options may attempt to provide his/her own protection (a stick, knife, etc.).

The child who bullies often enjoys the feeling of power or manipulation that bullying provides. He/she probably is both a poor winner (boastful or arrogant) and a poor loser (angry or excessively dismissive) in games or schoolwork. The bullying child usually has a history of discipline problems, displays uncontrolled anger and blames others for his/her problems. Often the bullying behavior is done when/where adults can’t notice. Parents, teachers, community leaders and others concerned about bullying and methods to reduce it might want to look at two publications by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The brochure, Take Action Against Bullying, (click here for on-line version) helps parents recognize the behavior and provides tips on what to do if their child is the aggressor or the victim. The booklet, What you need to know about youth violence prevention, (click here for on-line version) contains research data, summarizes “best practices” for school and community-based violence prevention programs, and lists “references and resources” for additional information. These publications are written for the general public and are an outgrowth of Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General. For a free copy of either publication, call 1-800-789-2647 or visit www.samhsa.gov.

Education Department
Mental Health Association of Greater St. Louis

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