I know this sounds odd, but I’m having a really difficult time after the death of my dog that I had for 8 years. I miss him terribly, find myself crying a lot and am having a hard time concentrating at work. My friends, family, and not even I understand why I’m so upset over this. After all, he was a pet, not a person. What’s wrong with me and what can I do to feel better?

You are experiencing grief as the result of a major personal loss in your life, the death of a beloved pet. People grieve following all types of losses in life. Unfortunately, many people do not realize that it is common to feel that the loss of a dear pet may be just as painful as the loss of a human loved one.

We are all unique; as are our ways in which we express our grief. Typical reactions that comprise grief include denial, crying, anger and inability to complete routine tasks and responsibilities. As we deal with our loss and come to accept it, these symptoms usually diminish.

Should your grief continue to negatively impact your functioning after approximately six to twelve months, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. Our agency has recently started a Pet Loss Support Group, through which people who have lost a pet can assist one another through their grief. Other helpful resources can be found at local libraries and bookstores, on the Internet, and through organizations such as The Humane Society of Missouri.

To grieve in a healthy manner, you must give yourself permission to feel all of the aforementioned feelings and to acknowledge the significant role your pet played in your life. Engaging in a personalized memorial ritual, like creating a scrapbook about the pet or planting a special tree or bush in the pet’s honor, can help relieve sadness as it commemorates the special place the pet will forever hold in your mind and in your heart.

Julie G. Dyson, MSW, LCSW
Jewish Family & Children’s Service
314-993-8018

Grief is the natural reaction to loss. The death of a beloved pet can be a very significant loss. This grief often manifests itself through feelings of denial, sadness, anger or guilt. Because not all people share the special bond of companionship with a pet, sometimes there is a tendency to downplay the loss. Comments such as "It was only a dog" or "You can always get another cat" do more to hurt and confuse rather than offer comfort. What some may fail to realize is that you are mourning the loss of a special relationship in your life and this normal process takes time.

• Your veterinarian may be your initial support. He or she can answer your questions and offer reassurance in your decision.
• Pour your heart and feelings out to someone who knew your pet and appreciated the bond you shared.
• Do something tangible, such as putting together an album of memories; plant a tree or flowers in your pet’s memory; write a letter to your pet; make a donation to a charity or volunteer your time at an animal shelter in honor of your pet.

The Humane Society of Missouri (314-95l-1576) has many aids, booklets and tapes that may provide solace during this difficult time.

Whatever your expression, how you choose to remember and honor your pet will be as individual as the relationship you shared with your gentle friend.

Suzanne K. Gassner
Director of Education
Humane Society of Missouri
St. Louis, MO
314-951-1578

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