I have 8-year old twins and just learned that one of them is diabetic. I find it very difficult to keep the affected twin away from sweets and I don’t feel I can punish the other by not allowing her to enjoy ice cream, cookies, etc. Right now, we’re all feeling a bit sorry for ourselves. Any suggestions?

Balancing the needs of siblings in a family is challenging. Remember that when a child is first diagnosed, everyone feels stressed working to adapt to the new situation. Keep in mind that use of sweets as reward or punishment is not a good idea for any family. Feeling sorry for ourselves is OK every now and then, and kids benefit from parents acknowledging difficulties, such as “It’s hard getting used to eating different foods. I understand you’re feeling sad and frustrated”. But if you continue to see your diabetic child as deprived, she may pick up on this, and feel bitter and angry to an extent that hurts her emotional health. If you convey a positive message about eating healthy foods to keep her body strong and healthy, she is likely to feel in charge and empowered. I agree that it’s not a good idea for your diabetic child to watch a sibling munching on a brownie and hear the message, “you can’t have any because of your diabetes.”  Don’t allow taboo foods in the home, and have the same food guidelines for everyone in the family. Involving your children in cooking diabetes-friendly desserts can be a fun activity. As time passes, your children will get used to new eating habits. It will get easier!

Suzanne Thompson, Ph.D.
Department of Psychology
St. Louis Children’s Hospital
314-454-6069

It’s natural to feel like you’re denying one child for the sake of the other. There will be specific instances where this is a necessity. Without question, the diagnosis of diabetes in your family alters the food choices for everyone. This involves creative meal and snack planning and close communication with a registered dietitian and your child’s endocrinologist to tailor his or her insulin therapy. Your child with diabetes can have some sweet foods, but always in moderation and with careful blood glucose monitoring and insulin management. Here are several suggestions for you and your family. You can contact St. John’s Mercy registered dietitians at 314-569-6283 and/or take advantage of St. John’s pediatric diabetes support group called Sharing Makes a Difference. For more support group information, contact Chrissy Ellegood at chrissyellegood@hotmail.com. The American Diabetes Association (314-822-5490 or www.diabetes.org) and the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (314-726-6778 or www.jdrf.org) have a wealth of information available. You have terrific influence to direct healthy and balanced food choices in your home. Try to think of your child’s diagnosis as an opportunity for creating a positive change in the nutrition for your whole family. This benefits everyone. With education, love and support, you can help your child with diabetes choose wisely while balancing the desires of the other twin.

Kay Simokaitis, ACSW, LCSW
Social Worker, Pediatrics
Care Coordination, St. John’s Mercy Medical Center

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