My husband and I are in our mid 60’s. For the past ten years, we dedicated much of our time to caring for my aging mother and our grandson who has a developmental disability. Their circumstances required more than we could provide, so both have been placed in facilities that better meet their needs, and they seem to be adjusting well. We have decided to sell our home and move to smaller quarters, but realize we’re facing many changing needs of our own at this new stage of our life. What would you suggest to help us through this major change?

Congratulations. You and your husband certainly deserve time to relax and enjoy your retirement. You are wise to realize that many factors are involved in making this major transition in your lives a success. You have spent much time being responsible and caring for others and now need to take the opportunity to reevaluate how you want to spend your time. Traumatic situations in our lives, such as divorce, retirement, death of parents or spouse, can bring about continuing depression or a whole new outlook and strengthening of character and spirit. A timely conference on this issue, entitled “Life Transitions:  Turning Challenges into Opportunities,” is being sponsored by OWL -- a national organization for mid-life and older women -- on Saturday, Sept. 18, 2004 at the Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Road, from 8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. There is no charge for the conference, which is underwritten by the Eli Lilly Co.  Lunch is provided; parking is free. Kay Klinkenborg, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice for 17 years will deliver the keynote speech. Local consultants will lead five small discussion groups on the topics of Forgiveness; Conflict Resolution; Connection between Mind, Body and Spirit; Creativity/Starting Over and Letting Go of Old Ways; and Relationships and Creating New Social Circles. Space is limited, so call for reservations as soon as possible at 314-725-5862. 

Marge Polcyn
Past President, OWL

While placing your mother and grandson in facilities has probably helped alleviate many of your day-to-day concerns, you’re likely still dealing with stresses associated with making visits, caring for both of their financial needs and planning for the future should their health status change. These challenges, coupled with the issues of aging, selling your home and finding the right place to relocate, position you in the midst of a major transition where a Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) could really be of assistance. GCMs are eldercare specialists who are professionally trained to provide helpful solutions in situations just like yours. They can help you develop a plan that outlines when you and/or your husband will visit your loved ones, how to deal with financial and medical decisions, and what your options are for the future. They can help you find a new home that is within your budget and in close proximity to the facilities and social activities you enjoy. A GCM could counsel you and provide you with reassurance about your feelings. And, most importantly, make sure that you and your husband are communicating with each other and that you have the adequate amount of support during this time. To learn more about the benefits of utilizing a GCM, call St. Andrew’s At-Home Services at 314-726-5766, visit www.silverselect.com or email staahs@standrews1.com. 

Ann Bannes
Vice President/Home & Community-Based Services
St. Andrew’s At-Home Services
6633 Delmar Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri 63130

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